Window of Tolerance · Nervous System · Reiki · Manifest Differently
Window of Tolerance: What It Is and How to Find YoursA gentle map of where you are right now
Not too much. Not too little. Room to stay present.
What is the window of tolerance?
The window of tolerance is the zone in which you can handle what life brings while staying present. Inside it, you can feel your feelings, think clearly and stay connected to yourself and other people, even when things are hard.
The term was coined by psychiatrist Dan Siegel. It is a model for understanding states of arousal, a map and not a diagnosis, and it isn't something you can measure exactly.
It is one piece of the bigger picture in Nervous System Regulation.
The three states
Picture a window with a space above it, the window itself, and a space below it. Each one is a different state, and you move between them through the day.
State 1 · Above the window
Overwhelmed
Racing thoughts, anxiety, anger, panic or a sense of being flooded. The body is mobilized, as in fight or flight.
State 2 · Inside the window
Settled
You can feel, think and stay present, even when things are hard. You can be moved without being swept away.
State 3 · Below the window
Shut down
Numbness, flatness, fog or a heavy, stuck feeling. The body is conserving energy, as in freeze.
The edges of the window move. Sleep, stress, health, history and the day you are having can all widen or narrow it. You will pass through all three states many times, and the goal is not to stay in one. It is to notice where you are.
Above the window: hyperarousal
When you are above your window, your system is revved up. You may feel anxious, irritable, panicky, or unable to stop thinking. The body is mobilized to deal with a threat, which is what we are talking about when we talk about fight or flight.
This is also called hyperarousal, or being in a sympathetic state. See sympathetic vs parasympathetic for what that means in the body.
Inside the window: settled
Being inside your window does not mean feeling calm all the time. It means you have enough room to feel what you feel and still stay present. You can be sad, nervous or irritated and still think clearly, listen, make choices and come back to yourself afterward.
People often describe it as being able to feel your feelings without being swept away by them, noticing your body, and having a little space between what happens and how you respond. In polyvagal language, this is often called a ventral vagal state, one of safety and connection.
This is also where the body can rest and digest, which you can read about in sympathetic vs parasympathetic.
Below the window: hypoarousal
When you are below your window, your system is powered down. You may feel numb, flat, foggy or heavy, and even simple things can feel impossible. This is the territory of the freeze response, and it can look like coping from the outside.
This is also called hypoarousal, or shutdown. Some people feel it most strongly after a long period of pushing through.
Ventral and dorsal vagal states
You may come across the terms ventral vagal and dorsal vagal. They come from polyvagal theory, developed by Stephen Porges. In that model, a ventral vagal state is one of safety and connection, and a dorsal vagal state is one of shutdown.
It is one popular way of describing these states, and it has its critics. I share it as a lens that many people find helpful, and not as settled science.
For a plain-language guide to the two sides of the autonomic nervous system, see sympathetic vs parasympathetic.
Why the window can narrow
Your window is not fixed. Poor sleep, long stretches of stress, health problems and overload can all make it narrower. Painful or frightening experiences, especially early ones, can narrow it too, so that smaller things tip you over.
If you tip into overwhelm or shutdown easily, it doesn't mean something is wrong with you. It may mean your system has been carrying a lot.
For a wider list of what a stressed system can look like, see signs of a dysregulated nervous system.
A simple check-in
Notice where you are right now. Offered as reflection and not as a prescription.
- Pause and take one slower breath than usual.
- Scan your body from head to feet and notice what stands out, such as tightness, heaviness, buzzing or nothing at all.
- Ask which of the three states feels closest: overwhelmed, shut down or settled.
- Notice what might help right now. If you are revved up, a long, slow exhale or feeling your feet may help. If you are shut down, a small movement or naming three things you can see may help.
- Let the answer be good enough, and check in again later. Where you are is information, not a grade.
If you notice you spend most of your time outside your window, or it feels frightening, a licensed trauma-informed therapist can offer support beyond what self-help can.
Widening your window gently
The window tends to widen slowly and through experiences of safety, not through force. People describe rest, steady routines, time with safe people, movement, time in nature and gentle practices that help the body settle.
Pushing yourself to stay in a state you can't tolerate usually backfires. Small steps, paced to what your system can handle, are what tend to last.
Keep exploring
Pages that go deeper into the states above.
Where Reiki and verbal Reiki fit
Reiki is a gentle practice of energetic support, and many people experience it as deeply restful. I'm not claiming it treats or cures anything. I offer it as a complement, a way to give the body a quiet space to settle.
Verbal Reiki
I use my voice alongside the Reiki, guiding you through imagery and somatic awareness while the Reiki is held.
Meeting the state you're in
Whether you are revved up or shut down, the work is slow and quiet, so your body can settle at its own pace.
New to Reiki itself? What Is Reiki? explains it plainly.
A free activation to begin with
Reiki for Anxiety: A Nervous System Healing Transmission is a Reiki activation I recorded for the nervous system, for the times you are revved up or worn down. It is free on my YouTube channel. Find a quiet spot and listen in a way that feels steady.
Reiki for Anxiety · A Nervous System Healing Transmission
You can listen any time, and if you drift off along the way, let yourself. Receive only what feels right. More are in my Reiki for Healing and Nervous System playlist.
Where to go from here
Take whichever door feels steady, at your own pace.
The Ongoing Work
Walk it in the Temple of Mysteries
Temple of Mysteries is my ongoing home for this work, built on Inanna's descent. We move through the seven gates, releasing a layer at each one. The shedding happens through verbal Reiki, in the company of a community walking it with you.
You also receive a library of every activation from my YouTube channel, plus member-only transmissions.
Enter the TempleNot sure where to start?
A short quiz that names the gate you are standing at right now.
Take the Gate QuizRead the story
The seven gates of Inanna's descent, and why I walk with her.
The Seven Gates of InannaFrequently asked questions
What is the window of tolerance?
The window of tolerance is the zone of arousal in which you can handle stress while staying present, able to think and feel. Above it you may feel overwhelmed, and below it you may feel shut down. The term comes from psychiatrist Dan Siegel.
Who created the window of tolerance?
The term was coined by Dan Siegel, a psychiatrist who works in interpersonal neurobiology. It is a model for understanding states of arousal and not a clinical diagnosis.
What is hyperarousal and hypoarousal?
Hyperarousal is being above the window, with anxiety, racing thoughts, anger or panic. Hypoarousal is being below it, with numbness, flatness, fog or shutdown.
What are the signs that I'm outside my window of tolerance?
Above the window you may feel overwhelmed, reactive or flooded. Below it you may feel numb, disconnected, foggy or unable to start. Both are information about what your nervous system needs.
How do I widen my window of tolerance?
Most people find it widens gradually, through rest, safe relationships, pacing yourself and gentle practices that help the body settle. If trauma is involved, a trauma-informed therapist can offer support that goes beyond self-help.
What do ventral vagal and dorsal vagal mean?
They come from polyvagal theory, developed by Stephen Porges. Ventral vagal describes a state of safety and connection, and dorsal vagal describes a state of shutdown. It is one popular way of describing these states, and it has its critics.
Can Reiki help with the window of tolerance?
Reiki is a complementary practice that many people find restful, and it can offer the body a quiet space to settle. It does not treat or cure anything and is not a substitute for medical or mental health care.
Guided by Carissa Andrews, Reiki Master and lineage holder.
Reiki is a complementary practice and not a substitute for medical or mental health care. No specific outcomes are promised or guaranteed. This page is educational and is not therapy or clinical advice.